another fishing tale...

Well this morning Courtney and I decided we would run away again and go fishing. So we did, at about 9:15 we got on the road which is two hours later than I planed (my alarm failed to wake me this morning). Basically most of the prime fishing time had passed but we decided we would still try anyway. We went to the same place as before except that we walked out onto a boat dock which was near the dam. I had picked up some new lures the night before and tried some of them out. I didn't get a hit on anything until I used dad's red and white spoon lure. I threw that out and probably on the third cast *boom* I get a huge hit. I'm reeling this fish and Courtney is getting excited. I must have caught the fish unaware because he didn't try to jump to get away like yesterday's brook did (which he did 3 times). This one tried to surface a time or two but I think I forced him back under. I got him up to the side of the dock and scooped him out with my net (I'm going to need a bigger one because all these fish are basically falling out of it when I pick them up). We brought a soft measuring tape with us today so that we could see how big the fish are. This beautiful Rainbow Trout measured in at 20 inches long and about 4 inches at the "waist" (thickest part). He didn't put up as much of a fight as the Brook did but it was still exciting. I had a lot more water I had to run him through before he got to the dock. After we got him turned back loose I couldn't even get another bite at that place so we moved back to the bank. We were about to pack up when I made a cast out with dad's red and white spoon and while in the process of reeling the lure back in I got an enormous bite. This fish hit the lure and pulled so hard I lost my balance on the rock I was standing on. I set the hook and the battle began. I started reeling him in and it felt like there was some other person on the other side who had a hold of the line and was pulling as hard as they could, or like when you get a snag in a river on a rock which is rolling down stream. I knew then that this was a monster, it had to be twice as big as the rainbow I had caught earlier. As I'm reeling in this fish pulls against me, lets up and then gives a huge pull and then the line went slack. My heart sank, I knew all to well what had just happened by how light the line felt. I reeled in the rest of my line and sure enough, there was no lure or swivel. This monster of a fish had hit my lure, taken it and broken the line in about a whole 4 seconds. I was awstruck, I have never caught a fish that hit my line as hard as that one did. I would give almost anything to have been able to see through the water and see what kind of fish it was and how big it was and whether or not my lure was embedded in its lip, stomache or resting on the river floor. This lack of identification will haunt me for some time to come. I'm hoping that when we go back tonight I might land that sucker and then see if I can find my lure in it. Until next time monster fish...
-D

A fishing tale...

Yesterday I decided I was going to do absolutely nothing productive. I started out the day by going paintballing. After that I came home ate, took a nap, and then went fishing. Courtney and I hopped in the car and took off to American Falls. We went fishing below the Dam on the Snake River. However before we got there we drove around for probably an hour trying to find some sportsman's access points that we ran into on one of our random drives where we get lost for fun. Unfortunately we didn't find any and so we just decided to go there. By the time we got there the sun was pretty low and we only had about 40 minutes to fish. Right now that area is limited to catch and release fishing with no barbed hooks or bait. So basically jigs, lures and flies. I used a couple of different spoons until I finally used one my father gave me. It was a silver spoon with red wavy lines on the sides. I threw that out and after a couple of casts I got a huge hit. And so the battle began... Well fortunately for me when the fish took the lure he was only about twelve feet from shore or else this would have been a long battle. When I finally reeled him in I was trying to get him in my net but he was still fighting me. I had landed myself a good ol Brook Trout. I know he was old because he was probably missing half his scales on one side and was quite large. I didn't have a tape measure but I estimate his size to be between 16 and 20 inches. He took the entire lure into his mouth and so I had to try to get all 3 prongs out. Which was difficult for several reasons, one being that every 6 seconds he would start flipping, another being that one prong was in each lip and the third in the roof of his mouth. I had to try to get that out without killing the creature. Needless to say I got him taken care of and sent him back to his fish friends. After that a few more casts turned up nothing and it was getting dark so we headed home.
-D

With regards to the roommate...

I have been frustrated beyond all understanding with this issue. To the extent that I think it has given me a physical headache during the last week or so. Because of this frustration I have decided to abandon all thought about this issue at all. If you wish to know what has happened then please feel free to cut me an email and I'll tell you guys then. Needless to say I'm frustrated and am getting a new set of sheets :-\. Anyway, I think that I may need to start to abandon the anger and just embrace what will be coming soon and the happiness of actual spring. In fact we may actually experience a thunderstorm tomorrow. I definitely hope so. Anyway, don't worry, just be happy.
-D

With regards to this day...

   You know I would have to say that today has been a very good day. I woke up this morning and had a very restful sleep. I got ready and then went to breakfast with my angel. After I went to breakfast I went to class and when I was done I came home. I did some work for my dad and then Courtney and I went to the campus and tried to fly a kite on the Quad. However the wind wasn't quite steady enough to keep it up in the air. So we just enjoyed the sun. Now I think that we will be going to dinner soon. I have just felt so happy today. The sun has been out and it has been warm all day. It has been a very wonderful day. I thought I'd just share it with the rest of you. Basically I just have to smile and be happy. I hope you all have had the exact same day and if not I hope you will soon. Everyone needs to feel like this once in a while.
-D

With regards to my lackidasical nature...

My apologies my dear readers, it has almost been three weeks since my last post and I feel bad for leaving you all hanging. Well I'm done with K Mart and am now working for Valor Industries as a computer tech. This is a much better job. I never told you about my video game tournament but basically, I went, I saw, I played, and I conquered. My issues with my roommates are still extremely frustrating. I will go into those more in a different post. They are too irritating and in depth to go over in this little apology ;-). The wedding plans are going great, we're getting a lot of things ready and should be ready for it. I enjoyed spring break this week, although it seemed to fly by far too fast. I'm hoping the next 6 weeks will go by quickly and then I'll be done with my first year of school and will only have maybe 5 left :-\. This is all I've really got for you guys now, more soon to follow...
-D

With regards to life at present...

So here I am, sitting in my blogging chair while I think of something to write. I have had some very interesting going ons lately. Some of you may have read my two weeks' notice fore _ Mart. I am very relieved to have completed that and submitted it. I just feel better knowing that I will soon be free from that oppression. I also did exceptionally well on the mid term for my chemistry class. I scored an 83 (89 with the curve) which is really quite amazing considering my past scores. I am really excited and am hoping that this half of the semester will start looking up for me. If I can continue to do this good I may be able to pull an A in the class which would be amazing. Yesterday while I was in chemistry my professor told us about the homework. About how he felt people were not getting all the points because they felt like they might be cheating the system. He told us it would be ok if we did that and so he basically told us to cheat. However with his assignments you have to cheat in order to complete them by the time they are due. He usually doesn't go over the subject matter in the homework until at least two or three days after the it is due. I know that we're supposed to read ahead but he expects far too much for a 100 level class (4 hours of out of class reading a night). His expectations are ridiculous as are his tests and teaching style. He makes me question why I am paying so much money for this kind of class, but oh well. I will just do my best. That is all you really can do.

On a slightly different note; I have acquired all 7 seasons of Star Trek the Next Generation and are really quite enjoying them. I am not a fan of Security Officer Tasha Yar or William Riker without facial hair but I guess I'll just grin and bear it. (I'm halfway through season 1 right now) William Riker is really a ladies' man, whether he is on the bridge, holo-deck or foreign planets. More would probably follow on the subject but I know most of you don't care so I'll just skip to the parts that are less about a favorite TV show.

This is pretty much all I have time for right now. I just woke up this morning feeling great and decided I'd write a blog post before I actually communicated with the world and realized how great it really isn't. I also recently won a Call Of Duty Black Ops tournament on PS3. I won a $65 gift card to Gamestop, but I'll go into that on another post.
I'm out,
-D

With regards my employment...

And here is the second to final chapter in my experience at K Mart. This is my two weeks notice as it was left in an envelope for my manager tomorrow morning:

To whom it may concern,

            It has come to my attention that my services are no longer necessary at this facility. For this and several other reasons I hereby tend my resignation with the submittal of this my two weeks’ notice.  I would inform you that the final day of my employment with the K Mart Corporation will be on the eighteenth day of March in this the year of our lord, two thousand and eleven. During my course of employment with this corporation I have experienced several things which have made me feel both uncomfortable and morally compromised; I have been offended by both corporate policies and local management on several occasions. I also feel that I should not be employed in a place where my financial security is dependent on how well I am able to emotionally please those who act as supervisors to the general store operation. I also feel that I should not be employed at a facility where the before mentioned financial issue forces oneself to become a debtor in order to provide the necessities of life, i.e. food, housing, etc. I also feel that my employment should not continue at a facility where communication between supervisors and associates is viewed as something to be completed at convenience and not out of necessity.  For these and several other reasons do I submit this two weeks’ notice for the purpose to notify the management and corporate offices that I will be terminating my employment with K Mart. If any clarification is needed or there are any questions please feel free to contact me.

            Sincerely,

            Daniel G. Peterson

I figured I'd share that with your guys for your enjoyment. He he he.
-D

An Explanation of the Borg...

WE ARE THE BORG. LOWER YOUR SHIELDS AND SURRENDER YOUR SHIPS. WE WILL ADD YOUR BIOLOGICAL AND TECHNOLOGICAL DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUR OWN. YOUR CULTURE WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE US. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

With regards to roommates...

So here I sit, in my magic chair letting the blog magic happen. I have been doing calculus homework for the last hour and a half and I'm a little fried. I have been trying to do too much of it in my head and so my mind is fatigued at the present time. I'm trying to distract it so it can recooperate a little bit so I can push through and finish it. I decided to give another update on the thermostat issue so that all of you faithfull readers out there can have a little closure ;-)
  So it appears as though we have won the war. The thermostat has not been changed in either teperature, heat or fan settings for about a month though. I think the comment (which is still written on the white board downstairs) scared him off. I think it may have made him realize that maybe there are other people in the universe, right? Its amazing to even consider the fact, preposterous even. We may have won, but it came at sacrifice. The temperature of the house is still at 69 degrees, which is still a little cold for my taste, but oh well. WE WILL ADAPT!!! (Borg [Star Trek species of cybernetic beings who strive for perfection] quote)
And there's your closure, I know you were all sitting on the edge of your seats, dying to know what happens next, and it is concluded, I think.
-D

With regards to my employment...

So the other day at work I found out why I was getting so few hours. About two weeks ago I wrote my manager a note asking if I had done something wrong because I wasn't getting any hours. On monday my manager and I (who will remain unnamed so I avoid a lawsuit) had a sit down and talked about it. Apparantly my hours had been cut for a whole month because she did not feel like I had been treating management appropriately. She cited an incident in mid january where I had a disagreement with the store's security head. She had been having me followed for about a week or two by the plainsclothes security officers which makes me very mad, she had also been riding my case a lot for things that had not happended while I was there. Well she got on my case again and I simply responded with an answer, however it was not one that she liked and she ran at me yelling (which I find funny considering she is a rather large woman) and telling me that I had better not have that attitude with her (I think I recall my mother telling me this several times). So because of the incident and one day where I came to work in khaki slacks instead of black pants because mine were filthy I had to take a student loan so I could pay my bills this month. My total income for Feb. was $160. That's not even enough for Courtney and I to buy groceries (expect another blog about that soon). So I'm furious about this and as soon as I get another offer for a job, even if it is in fast food, I'm taking it and quitting immediately at that place where I work (__Mart). While we were having our little talk she also told me that she had been meaning to talk to me about this for a few weeks but our schedules never coalligned. However she is the one in charge of scheduling and considering that she is management I feel that she might be obligated to make some effort, like staying for an extra 15 minutes or I don't know, maybe calling me or scheduling me for a time that she would be there? She has my phone number for a reason, but is apparantly unable to remember how to use a phone unless if she wants a very inconvienient shift covered, in which case I'm #1 on her list. Well now she's #1 on my list, my shit list. So I just figured that you folks would want to know why I was getting crapped on by __Mart.
-D

With regards to employment...

So I was just sitting in my comfortable chair (where all my blogging magic happens) and am waiting until its time for me to go to work and am just pondering life. I'm pondering where I've been, what I'm doing and where I think I want to be going. Two questions I wont elaborate on in this post. Today I want to talk about what I'm doing. Right now I'm existing, but that's about it. I spend most of my days sitting at home browsing the vast knowledge of the web while my bank account slowly drains. I still work about one day a week at K mart for reasons that are still unknown to me; and nobody seems to be wanting to hire me. I only occasionally sell things on amazon now because no one seems to be buying anything. I'm sitting here and thinking about jobs or places I could work. I have a job that should be starting next monday if contracts get signed and I complete my training this saturday/sunday. I'm still looking for a small to medium sized truck to buy because my car is just not really making the cut anymore, it worries me sometimes, though I still love her. I'm going to school but can't seem to get my chemistry test grades above C's. The bad part is that I don't care, I realized that you wont always have all the answers to all the questions and since I realized that I think my test scores dropped a little. I have also realized that I like tests in subjects that have definite answers and only one answer though several ways to find it (aka MATH) the other questions are all on small particulars and occasional circumstances effect them greatly and they are just annoying. I feel like I should put in my two weeks notice at K mart in the hopes that the dawning of actual unemployment will force my hand and kick my butt into gear to make me find a new job. I don't even have much of one but that extra kick might be what I need. So here's where the advice part kicks in, I'm reaching out to my readers wanting to know what you think I should do. Should I leave K mart? Should I lower my standards and go back to fast food?  Should I become an entrapenuer and start a small computer tech company? If you don't have a blog account (and can't leave comments) just send me an email (petedan2@isu.edu) or contact me on facebook.
Thanks guys,
-D

With regards to roommates...

So this is the latest update on the thermostat situation, I figure that some of you who read this blog my be interested to know, well there's BREAKING NEWS!!! (duh, duh, du du du du, duh duh)
  After waking up to another frigid morning three days ago Anthony (my direct room mate) and I decided that enough was enough. It begins with a letter on the newly hung whiteboard downstairs. We offered a reasonable temperature of 69 degrees that they could be happy with because apparntly 71 is too hot for them (aka J__e). We explained how we get very cold upstairs because of leaky windows and how it would be better if we set it to a heated temperature and left it. This is the latest update and so far there has been no need to exacerbate the situation so far. Like I've said it has only been three days though, so we'll see what comes a little bit later (in another day or do).
  Still very annoyed but atleast its some progress...
-D

With regards to Valentines Day...

  Another Valentines Day is upon us, as it comes every year. And for another year I have a lovely little angel that I get to hold close to me. If everything goes according to plan then I'll never have one of the "vile nasty evil" Valentines Days that I keep hearing about on Facebook. I don't understand why they're all so upset, I find it to be a nice holiday. I believe I'm going to enjoy this specific Valentines Day because of where I'm living. In my apartment there are only 10 of the 21 people who will be celebrating :-). I know its cruel of me to think this but these last few months they have really been trying my nerves. I believe that there may need to be some making out happening on both sides of the apartment just to rub some salt in the lonely wound. But onto less maniacle things...
 So this blog post was made for two reasons, first just to let everone out there know that either be with someone or suck it up, aka try again next year (plenty of fish in the sea), and to let my little sunshine know that I love her very dearly and always will, so here's to you Courtney: I LOVE YOU!!!
-D

With regards to current economic times...

Some of you may know that I am employed by the national corporation, K mart. If you follow my blog at all then you must realize that I am generally dissatisfied with my current employment. Well, it is now the end of January, what is the most difficult month for the retail sector (everyone is trying to pay off their debt from Christmas). I was told that for January and February I would not be getting very many hours. When I was told this I expected you know, maybe ten to fifteen. As it turns out, I am getting, on average, about 4 hours a week. Just one single shift. I have over $300 in expenses I have to pay each month. Eight hours a check just isn't going to make the cut. On top of that stress, there are no places in Pocatello that are hiring that I am able to work at. I don't know if I just haven't applied at the right places or what exactly is happening but its just slightly annoying. Well in an attempt to pay my bills, I have resorted to selling things online. I have had variable success at this but am starting to run out of ideas as to exactly what I should sell. If anyone of you readers out there would like to sell anything, just talk to me and we'll see if we can work something out. Maybe you'll have something, like old textbooks or the like, that you know longer want or would like to get rid of. I'm in a bit of a rut right now and could use some outside input.
Let me know what you got,
-D

With regards to roommates...

You must forgive me my friends, I seem to have been caught up in my school work lately and have been unable to post recently. This rant is one that has been brewing in me for years but has really been tapped lately.
 As some of you may know I live in a house with ten other guys. We share a kitchen and living room and there is a bathroom upstairs and one downstairs. Pretty basic right?. Well I live upstairs and the people up here are fairly mature (more so than the ones who live downstairs). Unfortunately when it comes to whole apartment decisions the mature ones don't get to make them or even take part in the decision making. For instance, I have been a part time computer technician, therefore I know a thing or two about computers. Our internet was really unreliable and half of us were unable to connect to it. The problem was that one of the ___ holes downstairs decided he wanted faster internet so he reset the router and just connected to its  default network (which is very selective about what computers it will allow to connect to it). About 80% of the rest of us were unable to connect, including the 10 girls living in the other side of the house. It is obvious why it sped things up, no one was able to connect. He was fine with it because he was getting really fast internet and was loving it. I got fed up with it because I had to leach my internet from another local network that was not encrypted. I was getting very slow internet connectivity. So I got tired and went downstairs, reset the router, built a fast secure network and provided the passwords to everyone. The following morning it was reset again. I rebuilt it again and then had a very interesting talk with that roommate about how it would be a bad idea to have the network unsecured and open like that and how unfair it was that no one could connect to it. Well this was all good and dandy and so far it hasn't been reset but I've seen them fiddleing with the router and its really annoying me.
  Another instance to bring to light, which is a continuous battle and which woke me up an hour earlier than I should have been awakened, involves the thermostat. In early november we had a freak cold front come through Idaho. Temperatures were in the negatives before windchill and there was plenty of that, and humidity as well. Well, our lovely little apartment had no heat. It was about 60 degrees inside and we were all bundled up in our sweaters with the oven on for heat. This went on for a few days before one of the guys who lived here last year came to visit and asked us why we hadn't turned the heat on. I was baffeled,  I thought it was an automatic thermostat that just adjusted to hot or cold based upon the temperature, but no there is a switch inside that activates the furnace. Well our lovely little thermostat keeps finding its way to the cold position on the switch which just circulates air in from outside. It does that and then magically finds its way to a setting of about 63 degrees, which is not conductive to a good healthy lifestyle. I have had many "heart to hearts" with the person (who will remain unnamed to avoid any libelous/slanderous grounds) but to no avail. It was fine for about two weeks until this morning. Aparantly that person got too hot while he was wearing his long underwear, jeans, t shirt, and sweater. He needs his basement room colder but doesn't want to open his window. My recommendation: SHED SOME FREAKING LAYERS!!!! But that's too much for him to comprehend. I fear that this battle may wage on until the thaw, but I'm not giving in. I sleep in such a way that my head is underneath the flow of air from the vent and having cold air blow on you in your sleep makes you sick. This morning I was freezing in my bed with full pajamas, a full quilt comforter and thermal blankets while I was curled in the fetal position. We clearly have a problem and there may be some choice words this afternoon, and maybe a little super glue placed on a certain switch.
Anyway that's all the time I have for a rant right now, thanks for listening world. I'm out...
-D

In Regards to Christmas Wishes...

   As some of you may know, today I helped our dearest friend Santa Clause in his diligent pursuit to spread love to all children around the world. He is a very busy man and is unable to visit the children everywhere so he seeks out the help of a large group of volunteers who are willing to help him. Today I was one of his volunteers who donned a beard and hat to help learn what the children want and need. As I am performing my duty a family came up to me and waited their turn. When I saw them I first noted that their clothes were not of the greatest make and their coats seemed old. I knew immediately that this was a family who was struggling to make ends meet. I brought their first child up on my lap and listened as he told me what it was he wanted for Christmas. It was just a ball, some toys and clothes; a typical request. Then the middle child, a daughter, came up on my lap. She had a dirty face and big brown eyes. I asked her what she would like for Christmas and she was hesitant at first but then replied that she would like a baby doll, some clothes and her grandma back from heaven. When I heard her say this and looked into her big brown eyes I started and had difficulties continuing my routine. I answered that Santa would do his best to get her all that she wanted, but that things may be difficult with her grandma. Upon further thought I realize that I should have explained to her what happened in a way that would be easy to understand. I could have:
1. Explained to her that her grandma was in a retirement home for old people and that she wasn't able to visit her until she herself had gotten very old.
2. Explained that her grandmother could not come back to her because she was with God now and God had special work for her to do.
3. Explained that her grandma had taken the wrong train and the next train coming back wasn't for a very long time.
I should have:
1. Explained that I would try but would have to consult her grandma first. Explained that she had gone to a place where she could be with her always. That her grandma loved her and was always watching over her like she loved to do before she went. That her grandma wanted to be with her but would be able to watch over her better while above her and so that is probably where she would stay. I could have told her that you could talk with her whenever she wanted and that her grandma was listening.
However instead of telling her the things that would have made her feel better I just instilled her with a false hope. It wasn't intentional and I wasn't being malicious but my accident may cause that poor little girl's faith in Santa Clause to be shaken.

I am very attatched to this subject because the exact same thing happened to me when I was 8. My great grandmother, who had basically raised me, fell extremely ill during the Thanksgiving holiday and perished several days later to a series of very large cancerous tumors. That year, the only thing that I asked from Santa Clause, and God, was for my dear Great Grandmother to be able to come back to me. For that year and the next two I wished for the same thing but Santa would not have it and my grandma never came back. As I pondered this tonight I realized that it has been a little over ten years since she passed. Time really has flown and yet the memories are so very vivid; I remember that I carried a wallet sized picture of my grandma in a small golden desk top picture frame for the next year after she died. I still have that picture, though it did not accompany me to college. Instead it stayed home where it would be safe.

No child should have to lose a grandparent or parent though I have to say that probably three quarters of the people out there have probably made a similar Christmas wish at least once when they were a child, whether it be for an aunt, uncle, father, mother, grandma, grandpa or sibling. My heart goes out to all of you who have made this wish in the darkest corners of your mind. You are far from alone although it took the big brown eyes of another 6 or 7 year old to remind me of mine.

In regards to the "professional" work place...

When I started working at K mart I expressed to them the fact that I am a college student who is engaged and will be needing more hours so that he can help to pay for a wedding. I made this knowledge very clear to them right at the beginning. They started me out working at about twenty hours a week. I expressed to them that I needed more because I was only barely making ends meet with those funds. They complied and I started to work about 26 hours a week on average. This was acceptable but still not what I was wanting. We are planning on having a big wedding and saving $50 a month is not going to be able to make that happen, especially with Christmas coming on. They continuously told me that I would be getting more hours as soon as the holiday season had begun (after Halloweeen). I did not see those hours until the week of Thanksgiving. During that week I finally recieved the hours I had been expecting. I believed I worked a total of 36 hours for the week. It was fantastic; I had an eight hour shift on Thanksgiving day (at time and a half) and then 9 hour shifts for the next three days. Then the week after's schedule hit and I got two shifts. A grand total of twelve hours. Then the upcoming week's schedule was finally posted (on last thursday [3 days befor the schedule starts] I must point out) and I only recieved one shift. I was enraged and very upset, to say the least. This "professional" work place has lied to me for the last 4 months and I'm sick and tired of it. I am using all of the willpower I have to stop myself from walking out during a shift or just not showing up. I go to work and work my tail off for a measly minimum wage when I am expeceted to do $10 an hour work. It is upsetting and I have had enough. Because my next two checks are going to be so small I am going to have to make some serious sacrifices this Christmas and not be able to give the gifts like I normally would like to. If you only get a card or packet of hot co-coa now you know why. Needless to say I am done with K mart. I have put in my resume in several locations to work in specialized work for pay that I deserve. If I have to I will work at the call center; which is supposed to be very awful.

In conclusion all I really have to say is **** you K mart!!!!

In regards to the fragilness of life...

Yesterday was one of the best days I have had since I came to college. I spent the whole day with the love of my life and having a lot of fun. It was just a nice relaxing day at home with almost no worries. Then when I came back to my room at about midnight I went to check on my other girl; my  pet rat Ilene. Ilene is a rat that I adopted before college started. I gave her a home and a family. When I went to check on her and feed her for the evening I picked her up and noticed that she had what looked like blood caked onto her whiskers, paws and around her eyes. I took her to the sink and washed it off. She was being very frail and felt very weak. She didn't seem to be able to stand on her own and has not stood since I found her like that. Courtney did some research and found that it was not blood but just tears that are produced when a rat is under stress or is ill. I put Ilene to bed in a shoe box with a towel and some food. I woke up this morning and checked on her. Some of her tears were back but she seemed to be doing a little bit better. I even got her to eat a little and she peed on me. Bodily functions are good and the lack of them is what should be worrying. I washed her up and kept her in her shoe box with me allmost all day. When I left to go to work she seemed to be sleeping and so I didn't disturb her. I came home and the tears were back. I washed them off but now she is unable to walk or even stop herself from falling over. She wont eat and I had to force some water down her throat which got me nibbled a bit. I held her and her heart rate is so rapid its almost not stopping. I cannot go to a veterinarion for help because I cannot afford the visit. I can't put her out of her misery either because I couldn't bring myself to do it with a knife or other means and do not have access to a gun or seringe. I feel so sorry for this poor creature. She is very ill and I doubt she will make it through the night. This is where I stand right now and this is the context for my following remarks.

Life is fragile. As I illustrated with the story of my family member, you never know when something can suddenly show up and you are potentially spending your final minutes with the person or creature that you love. In every day that you live always live it as though it was your last. Never have regrets because regrets are what make you weep when the loved one passes on. If you always spend the time that you feel is necessary with those that you love then you will not have regrets. Nothing is more important than family is. Not school, not video games, not work, nor a social gathering. If something is happening with your family then be there. I also made this mistake for my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. I was trapped at work and unable to make it home to be with them during that important time. Live life to its fullest and without regret.  Charish every moment you have with those around you. Life comes at you fast and you never know what curve ball will be thrown at you next.

As I say goodbye to the first member of my family with my fiance, I greet with a bittersweet taste this knowledge and share it with you.

So this crazy little thing called school...

      So right now I'm studying at Idaho State University. At the conclusion of this semester I will be a sophomore (as far as credits are concerned). I am studying generals at the moment but will eventually be knee deep in physics in about a year; and over the head in two ;-). I have basically just been doing busy work and have mixed feelings about getting good grades on it. For instance, I just finished taking the second of three tests for my social problems class. It was open note and open book  and I scored 105/105. I feel proud yet I'm not sure that I should be. The test was a little tricky but not extremely difficult. I have also been doing exceptionally well in my other classes but since they are just generals they continue to feel like busy work and I'm not sure if I should be proud of my good grades. I know it is a good thing that I am getting them though because I sure don't want to play for my education; I'd much rather have a government institution pay for it ;-). So it is important but I'm still stuck with the question: Should I be proud? I know what my family would say, and what the other people in my immediate social/support group would say but there is still a part of me that feels like i'm only scratching the surface and not really digging as deep as I should be. I'm sure a lot of you are reading this and thinking, man this guy is a ****ing moron. If I was getting those grades I'd be happy. So perhaps this is just an illogical rant and maybe I am just a moron but it still takes up some of my precious non-daydreaming thinking time.
      On another note, holey pissin sea monkeys batman, its the beginning of november and your semester is over in 6 weeks(ish). Has anyone else noticed how fast this school has been going? Its crazy, just when I thought I would be all over college living the life I seem to have let my conscious mind step back and press the fast forward button. I suddenly jumped into the middle of a show and now I'm saying to myself WTF? where did everything go? Where is this college life I'm suddenly missing out on? sigh, who will ever know. I think this is going to conclude today's quasi-rant...

In regards to next door dance parties...

So tonight we experienced our first dance party with the girls and everyone next door. So we're at the dance party and dancing and everything. It's your typical dance music, and by that I mean obnoxious grind music that just talks about sex and drugs, you know the typical stuff "our generation" likes. What you don't know is that 90% of the girls over there are LDS and are very serious into the religion and what not. So I run over to my side and up to my room to get some wholesum music; some good old techno (Daft Punk, Bass Hunter, etc.) the good stuff. However these songs typically have intros that are about thrity seconds long. I managed to get them through All I ever wanted - Bass Hunter, and onto some Daft Punk, they skip through three songs which have good lyrics and aren't all sexual and bad and what not and after skipping through three just pull out my zune and go back to their bad music (as it is classified by their religion). I find that hypocrisy quite disgusting and after that happened it just kind of threw off the party for me. On top of that several of the girls were just one boy or half a step away from dirty dancing and grinding all over each other. This is not clean dancing as it is outlined in their religion. I would just have to say that their morals were laid out before me tonight and I'll have to remember that the next time a dance party or other activity happens. I'm really dissapointed by these girls who act as though they are the pinnacles of society and should be examples to all other girls of extreme chastity and politeness and yada yada yada. Well at this time I'm definately calling the B.S. in this case. So in concluseion; WTF people? Really?