As some of you may know, today I helped our dearest friend Santa Clause in his diligent pursuit to spread love to all children around the world. He is a very busy man and is unable to visit the children everywhere so he seeks out the help of a large group of volunteers who are willing to help him. Today I was one of his volunteers who donned a beard and hat to help learn what the children want and need. As I am performing my duty a family came up to me and waited their turn. When I saw them I first noted that their clothes were not of the greatest make and their coats seemed old. I knew immediately that this was a family who was struggling to make ends meet. I brought their first child up on my lap and listened as he told me what it was he wanted for Christmas. It was just a ball, some toys and clothes; a typical request. Then the middle child, a daughter, came up on my lap. She had a dirty face and big brown eyes. I asked her what she would like for Christmas and she was hesitant at first but then replied that she would like a baby doll, some clothes and her grandma back from heaven. When I heard her say this and looked into her big brown eyes I started and had difficulties continuing my routine. I answered that Santa would do his best to get her all that she wanted, but that things may be difficult with her grandma. Upon further thought I realize that I should have explained to her what happened in a way that would be easy to understand. I could have:
1. Explained to her that her grandma was in a retirement home for old people and that she wasn't able to visit her until she herself had gotten very old.
2. Explained that her grandmother could not come back to her because she was with God now and God had special work for her to do.
3. Explained that her grandma had taken the wrong train and the next train coming back wasn't for a very long time.
I should have:
1. Explained that I would try but would have to consult her grandma first. Explained that she had gone to a place where she could be with her always. That her grandma loved her and was always watching over her like she loved to do before she went. That her grandma wanted to be with her but would be able to watch over her better while above her and so that is probably where she would stay. I could have told her that you could talk with her whenever she wanted and that her grandma was listening.
However instead of telling her the things that would have made her feel better I just instilled her with a false hope. It wasn't intentional and I wasn't being malicious but my accident may cause that poor little girl's faith in Santa Clause to be shaken.
I am very attatched to this subject because the exact same thing happened to me when I was 8. My great grandmother, who had basically raised me, fell extremely ill during the Thanksgiving holiday and perished several days later to a series of very large cancerous tumors. That year, the only thing that I asked from Santa Clause, and God, was for my dear Great Grandmother to be able to come back to me. For that year and the next two I wished for the same thing but Santa would not have it and my grandma never came back. As I pondered this tonight I realized that it has been a little over ten years since she passed. Time really has flown and yet the memories are so very vivid; I remember that I carried a wallet sized picture of my grandma in a small golden desk top picture frame for the next year after she died. I still have that picture, though it did not accompany me to college. Instead it stayed home where it would be safe.
No child should have to lose a grandparent or parent though I have to say that probably three quarters of the people out there have probably made a similar Christmas wish at least once when they were a child, whether it be for an aunt, uncle, father, mother, grandma, grandpa or sibling. My heart goes out to all of you who have made this wish in the darkest corners of your mind. You are far from alone although it took the big brown eyes of another 6 or 7 year old to remind me of mine.
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